Perinchief Chapels of Mount Holly, New Jersey

It was in 2005 that I visited my sister in New Jersey and put 700 miles on her car in five days.  I did that by driving in every borough of New York City and the two additional counties on Long Island while I met about 25 cousins on my mother's side of the family.  I also drove around Mount Holly, New Jersey researching my father's family.  In addition to finding the house where his mother (my grandmother) was born, I visited the Brotherhood Cemetery three different times looking for the grave of my great-grandfather Cornelius Elmer Sellers.

You see, I had been talking with my grandaunt Betty, my grandfather's youngest sister, who at that time was the only surviving sibling.  I told her I was planning a trip to New Jersey and New York, and she asked if I could find out whether her father had a tombstone over his grave.  If he didn't, she wanted to purchase one and have it placed.  I adored Aunt Betty, so of course I told her I would try.

I knew which cemetery Elmer was buried in because I had his death certificate.  I had also spoken with the cemetery sexton, a Mr. Szelc, who had confirmed the burial and had found records indicating that a few young children were buried in the same plot.  I knew from my research that my great-grandparents had several children who did not live to adulthood, and I wasn't surprised that they were buried together.

The first time I visited the cemetery I walked up and down every row and path I could identify, looking for Elmer.  I thought I had done a pretty thorough job, but I was not successful.  I knew from my previous conversations with Mr. Szelc that he wasn't available during the day, so it wasn't going to do me any good to call him and ask where Elmer might be.

The only other option I could think of was calling Perinchief Chapels.  That was the funeral home that had handled Elmer's burial in 1918, and it was still in operation.  In fact, I learned that it was (at that time) the second-oldest family-owned funeral home in New Jersey.  (They might be the oldest one now.)  I was thinking that maybe they had a map of the cemetery, because they did burials there, and just maybe they could find Elmer on the map.

So I called and explained my request.  Well, no, they didn't have a map.  But the David Perinchief who answered the phone said that he would come out to the cemetery and help me look!  What a wonderful thing to do!  And a short time later, he arrived with his son, Patrick.  And the three of us tromped up and down the paths in the cemetery, again thinking we were doing a thorough job of looking at every tombstone, and yet we still didn't find Elmer.  I thanked them both very much, and they returned to work.

I decided to write about this today because it's National Funeral Director and Mortician Recognition Day, and I want to recognize the Perinchiefs for taking time out of their work day to help me look for my great-grandfather, even if we weren't successful.  I'm not sure that every funeral home owner would have done the same.

Now, because we hadn't found Elmer, I called Mr. Szelc that evening and told him about my adventures during the day.  He told me he knew exactly where Elmer was.  He would put an orange flag next to Elmer's stone the next morning, and I should go back to the cemetery and look for it.

I did exactly that.  I walked up and down those same paths and missed the flag the first time I passed it because it was very small.  But I eventually saw it and discovered why the Perinchiefs and I had not found Elmer's tombstone the previous day.  Not only was it small, it was made of marble, which had heavily eroded during the ensuing 87 years.  It was very worn, and even with Mr. Szelc's flag to point me to it, I still had trouble reading Elmer's name on it.  But I found him!

When I returned home, I told Aunt Betty about my search and that her father did indeed have a stone.  Because it was so worn, she wanted to order a new one.  And then came a strange wrinkle to the story:  Mr. Szelc's primary occupation was making tombstones.  But when I called him to order a new stone for Elmer, he didn't call me back.  I tried several times and never received a response from him again.  So Elmer still doesn't have a new stone, and I'm sure the current one has eroded even more over the past 20 years.