Saturday Night Genealogy Fun: What Was a "Turning Point" in Your Parents' Life?

I'm still trying to catch up from missing last week's Saturday Night Genealogy Fun, but I'm happy to participate in this week's challenge from Randy Seaver!

Here is your assignment, if you choose to play along (cue the Mission:  Impossible music, please!):

1.  Family stories are often about "turning points" and "major decisions."

2.  This week, please describe a "turning point" in the life of one of your parents (or for both of them, or for grandparents).  Describe the decision and discuss the outcome of it.

3.  Share the turning point with all of us by writing your own blog post, writing a comment on this blog post, or putting it in a Substack post, Facebook Note, or some other social media system.  Please leave a comment on this post so others can find it.

From my perspective, probably the most important turning points in my parents' life was when my mother decided to go to a party with her best friend.  They were living in Miami at the time.  Their car broke down on the way to the party, and my mother was fretting about what they could do.  Her friend said, "Don't worry, my uncle is a mechanic.  I'll call him and he'll come fix it."  And that uncle became my father, because my mother's best friend was my first cousin.

I don't know when exactly this happened or the specifics of how things developed from there, but I do know that my parents were married October 21, 1961 and shortly thereafter left Florida and drove across the country to Los Angeles.  I'm pretty sure the first place they went was my godmother-to-be's home in Whittier.  Ruthie was my maternal grandmother's best friend.  My mother told Ruthie that she was pregnant (with me!) before she told my grandmother.

So if my mother hadn't decided to go to that party, I might not be here.  I guess my brother and sister wouldn't be either.  And maybe my father would have become a famous musician!

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

99 Things Genealogy Meme

I found this meme accidentally because Banai Lynn Feldstein, the Ginger Genealogist, had her blog hacked and some of her older posts, including the 99 Things Genealogy Meme, were sent out as new items.  I discovered that Saturday Night Genealogy Fun, which I use as weekly inspiration for posts, covered this topic, but in 2009, two years before I started blogging.  So I'm going to do it now.

Because my Jewish ancestry is a huge focus of my research, I'm using Banai's Jewish-focused version of the meme, although I do not agree with her logic on removing American Revolution, Civil War, and DAR as topics.  For several of the items, I changed "ancestor" to "relative" because not only did I not think it was realistic for all of those items to be for ancestors, my collateral relatives are also important in my research.  And I did a few edits just because I'm an editor and found things, and I couldn't help myself.

The list should be annotated in the following manner:
Things you have already done or found:  bold type.
Things you would like to do or find:  Italicize (color optional).
Things you haven’t done or found and don’t care to:  plain type.

1. Belonged to a genealogical society.
2. Researched records on site at a court house.
3. Transcribed records.
4. Uploaded tombstone photographs to Find-A-Grave.
5. Documented ancestors for four generations (self, parents, grandparents, great-grandparents).
6. Joined Facebook.
7. Helped clean up a run-down cemetery.
8. Joined the GeneaBloggers Group on Facebook.
9. Attended a genealogy conference.
10. Lectured at a genealogy conference.
11. Attended SIG/BOF meetings at a genealogy conference.
12. Spoke on a genealogy topic at a local genealogy society.
13. Been the editor of a genealogy society newsletter or journal.
14. Contributed to a genealogy society publication.
15. Served on the board or as an officer of a genealogy society.
16. Got lost on the way to a cemetery.  Because my father refused to ask for directions first.
17. Talked to dead relatives.
18. Researched outside the state in which I live.
19. Knocked on the door of an ancestral home and visited with the current occupants.
20. Cold-called a distant relative.
21. Posted messages on a surname message board.
22. Uploaded a GEDCOM file to the Internet.
23. Googled my name.
24. Performed a random act of genealogical kindness.
25. Researched an unrelated family, just for the fun of it.
26. Have been paid to do genealogical research.
27. Earned a living (majority of income) from genealogical research.
28. Wrote a letter (or e-mail message) to a previously unknown relative.
29. Responded to messages on a message board or forum.
30. Was injured while on a genealogy excursion.
31. Participated in a genealogy meme.
32. Created family history gift items (calendars, cookbooks, etc.).
33. Performed a record look-up for someone else.
34. Went on a genealogy seminar cruise.
35. Was convinced that a relative must have arrived here from outer space.
36. Found a disturbing family secret.
37. Told others about a disturbing family secret.
38. Combined genealogy with crafts (family picture quilt, scrapbooking).
39. Think genealogy is a passion, not a hobby.
40. Assisted finding next of kin for a deceased person (Unclaimed Persons).
41. Taught someone else how to find their roots.
42. Lost valuable genealogy data due to a computer crash or hard drive failure.  More than once, in fact.
43. Been overwhelmed by available genealogy technology.
44. Know a cousin of the 4th degree or higher.
45. Disproved a family myth through research.
46. Got a family member to let you copy photos.
47. Used a digital camera to “copy” photos or records.
48. Translated a record from a foreign language.
49. Found an immigrant ancestor’s passenger arrival record.
50. Looked at census records on microfilm, not on the computer.
51. Used microfiche.
52. Visited the FamilySearch Library in Salt Lake City.
53. Visited more than one LDS FamilySearch Center.
54. Visited a church or place of worship of one of your ancestors.
55. Taught a class in genealogy.
56. Traced ancestors back to the 18th century. [From Banai:  Removed 17th and 16th centuries for the Jewish version.  Ashkenazi Jews are not likely to go beyond the 18th.  There just aren’t records for us.]
57. Can name all of your great-great-grandparents.
58. Found an ancestor’s Social Security application.
59. Know how to determine a Soundex code without the help of a computer.
60. Used Steve Morse’s One-Step searches.
61. Own a copy of Where Once We Walked.
62. Helped someone find an ancestor using records you had never used for your own research.
63. Visited the main National Archives building in Washington, DC.
64. Visited the Library of Congress.
65. Found at least two relatives who came over on the same ship on different journeys.
66. Have a relative who fought in World War I.
67. Have a relative who fought in World War II.
68. Took a photograph of an ancestor’s tombstone.
69. Became a member of the Association of Graveyard Rabbits.
70. Can read a metrical record in Polish, Russian, and/or German.
71. Have an ancestor who changed his name.
72. Joined a RootsWeb mailing list.
73. Created a family Web site.
74. Have more than one genealogy blog.
75. Was overwhelmed by the amount of family information received from someone.
76. Have broken through at least one brick wall.  Well, I don't have any real brick walls, where I have exhausted every possible record and still haven't found an answer, but I did answer a longstanding research question.
77. Borrowed a microfilm from the Family History Library through a local Family History Center.
78. Have done indexing for FamilySearch Indexing or another genealogy project.
79. Visited the Allen County Public Library Genealogy Center in Fort Wayne, Indiana.
80. Had an amazing serendipitous find of the “Psychic Roots” variety.
81. Have used Border Crossing records to locate a relative.
82. Used maps in my genealogy research.
83. Have a convict ancestor who was transported from the UK.
84. Found a bigamist among my ancestors.  No, but I have found bigamists doing research for others.
85. Ordered records from the Polish State Archives, Ukraine, or German archives.  How about Swedish archives?
86. Visited an ancestral village in Eastern Europe and did genealogy research.
87. Found a cousin in a foreign country (besides Canada).
88. Consistently cite my sources.  I do this for my clients.
89. Visited a foreign country (i.e., one I don’t live in) in search of relatives.
90. Can locate any document in my research files within a few minutes.  I used to be able to do this before I moved to Oregon.  I still don't have everything organized well since the move.  That'll teach me to tear a rotator cuff while moving boxes around.
91. Have an ancestor who was married four times (or more).  No, but I have found a cousin who did so.
92. Made a rubbing of an ancestor's gravestone.
93. Organized a family reunion.
94. Published a family history book (on one of my families).
95. Learned of the death of a fairly close relative through research.
96. Have done the genealogy happy dance.
97. Sustained an injury doing the genealogy happy dance.
98. Offended a family member with my research.
99. Reunited someone with precious family photos or artifacts.

So I have done 84 of the 99 items.  There are eight I would like to do (a couple of which I could probably justify as putting in bold already) and seven I have no interest in.  Seriously, who wants to get injured on a genealogy trip or doing the genealogy happy dance?  Why are those even on the list?

Image from Wikimedia Commons and licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

Saturday Night Genealogy Fun: Celebrate and Participate In National Memory Day

I sent this suggestion for a Saturday Night Genealogy Fun topic to Randy Seaver a while ago to use this year.  I thought it was perfect timing that National Memory Day should fall on a Saturday.

Come on, everybody, join in and accept the mission and execute it with precision.

1.  March 21 is National Memory Day.  How can we celebrate, and participate, in the day?  I asked AI tool ChatGPT how, and it suggested "Capture a Memory before It[']s Gone"; "Rescue and Identify Old Photos"; "Record a[n] Oral History"; "Organize One Small Thing";  "Share a Story with Family"; "Visit or Virtually Honor Ancestors."

2.  For SNGF this week, do one or more of those tasks or some other related task of your choosing.

3.  Share your selected National Memory Day activity in your own blog post or in a Facebook, SubStack, BlueSky, or other social media post.  Leave a link to your post on this blog post to help us find your post.

[Thank you to geneablogger Janice Sellers for telling me about National Memory Day and suggesting this topic.]

The emphasis on National Memory Day is your brain and keeping your memory functions in good shape.  One of the many wonderful things about doing family history research is that it should help increase your own memory capabilities, because family history is really puzzle solving — figuring out which pieces belong to which puzzle, assembling them and helping make sense of them, determining where you can find additional documentation to add more pieces.  I have often read that studies indicate puzzle solving is one way to keep your brain and your memory working well.

In genealogy, the aspect of memory we tend to focus on is remembering people and the past, which seems a natural corollary.  I celebrated National Memory Day by teaching an introductory class in Black American genealogy and encouraging the attendees to share their research with family members, genealogical and historical societies, archives, libraries, and as many other people and institutions as possible to ensure that the memories of our families are not lost after we, the researchers, are gone.  When we share our information, we increase the probably that others will remember our family members, and all of the work we have done will not be in vain.  I guess that comes under Randy's suggestion to "Visit or Virtually Honor Ancestors."

I looked up National Memory Day and found one page that indicated it was first celebrated in 2017 and that it was started to honor memories.  I like to think the people who created it would find the connection to family history appropriate.

Wordless Wednesday

Perinchief Chapels of Mount Holly, New Jersey

It was in 2005 that I visited my sister in New Jersey and put 700 miles on her car in five days.  I did that by driving in every borough of New York City and the two additional counties on Long Island while I met about 25 cousins on my mother's side of the family.  I also drove around Mount Holly, New Jersey researching my father's family.  In addition to finding the house where his mother (my grandmother) was born, I visited the Brotherhood Cemetery three different times looking for the grave of my great-grandfather Cornelius Elmer Sellers.

You see, I had been talking with my grandaunt Betty, my grandfather's youngest sister, who at that time was the only surviving sibling.  I told her I was planning a trip to New Jersey and New York, and she asked if I could find out whether her father had a tombstone over his grave.  If he didn't, she wanted to purchase one and have it placed.  I adored Aunt Betty, so of course I told her I would try.

I knew which cemetery Elmer was buried in because I had his death certificate.  I had also spoken with the cemetery sexton, a Mr. Szelc, who had confirmed the burial and had found records indicating that a few young children were buried in the same plot.  I knew from my research that my great-grandparents had several children who did not live to adulthood, and I wasn't surprised that they were buried together.

The first time I visited the cemetery I walked up and down every row and path I could identify, looking for Elmer.  I thought I had done a pretty thorough job, but I was not successful.  I knew from my previous conversations with Mr. Szelc that he wasn't available during the day, so it wasn't going to do me any good to call him and ask where Elmer might be.

The only other option I could think of was calling Perinchief Chapels.  That was the funeral home that had handled Elmer's burial in 1918, and it was still in operation.  In fact, I learned that it was (at that time) the second-oldest family-owned funeral home in New Jersey.  (They might be the oldest one now.)  I was thinking that maybe they had a map of the cemetery, because they did burials there, and just maybe they could find Elmer on the map.

So I called and explained my request.  Well, no, they didn't have a map.  But the David Perinchief who answered the phone said that he would come out to the cemetery and help me look!  What a wonderful thing to do!  And a short time later, he arrived with his son, Patrick.  And the three of us tromped up and down the paths in the cemetery, again thinking we were doing a thorough job of looking at every tombstone, and yet we still didn't find Elmer.  I thanked them both very much, and they returned to work.

I decided to write about this today because it's National Funeral Director and Mortician Recognition Day, and I want to recognize the Perinchiefs for taking time out of their work day to help me look for my great-grandfather, even if we weren't successful.  I'm not sure that every funeral home owner would have done the same.

Now, because we hadn't found Elmer, I called Mr. Szelc that evening and told him about my adventures during the day.  He told me he knew exactly where Elmer was.  He would put an orange flag next to Elmer's stone the next morning, and I should go back to the cemetery and look for it.

I did exactly that.  I walked up and down those same paths and missed the flag the first time I passed it because it was very small.  But I eventually saw it and discovered why the Perinchiefs and I had not found Elmer's tombstone the previous day.  Not only was it small, it was made of marble, which had heavily eroded during the ensuing 87 years.  It was very worn, and even with Mr. Szelc's flag to point me to it, I still had trouble reading Elmer's name on it.  But I found him!

When I returned home, I told Aunt Betty about my search and that her father did indeed have a stone.  Because it was so worn, she wanted to order a new one.  And then came a strange wrinkle to the story:  Mr. Szelc's primary occupation was making tombstones.  But when I called him to order a new stone for Elmer, he didn't call me back.  I tried several times and never received a response from him again.  So Elmer still doesn't have a new stone, and I'm sure the current one has eroded even more over the past 20 years.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday